quirkiness disallowed

NO.

2008-02-24T07:30:00.000-08:00

oh my goodness.
This is BAD.
This is TERRIBLE
I can't believe myself sometimes.
Was NOT what I MEANT.
What was I thinking?
Why wasn't I thinking?
I'm a horrid, insensible, silly and impertinant.
I ought to be hung, and I will be,
by my own conscience.

Quotes

2008-02-19T05:02:00.000-08:00

Life is like a swing that you're stuck in, its only when you get out of the momentum and vomit that everything feels better.
-Sage Carolyn Lai-

Vomit stinks
-Kindergarden teacher Carolyn Lai-

A swing is a inappropriate simile for life. Life really should be alluded to hope and vibrancy, not a monotonous, confined movement!
-Idealistic Literature student Carolyn Lai-

Shut up brain
-ME-

THE NEW YEAR

2008-02-10T00:31:00.000-08:00

OK, the new year is here, so its a good reason to post a post that should have been posted in the original calander, first Jan.

But whatever, I choose to follow the course of the moon, the roots of my ancestors, the astronomical studies of ancient china that so precisely maps time, to decide when to start blogging.

and I have nothing I want to say but HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

BYE.

A grief observed

2007-12-05T22:55:00.000-08:00

C.S Lewis is just this amazing man and a terribly terrible gifted author.

I could go on and on..

Going to go through the whole of Chronicles of Narnia, except the lion the witch and the warddrobe, cause the movie is still fresh in my head.

But closer to my heart is not his fictional creations, but his reflections.

I'm always amazed that he married an american author whom he corresponded through letters, and reading "a Grief observed" makes me even more amazed at his love for her.
He married, knowing that she had cancer, and loved, all the same, or even more.

My favourite quotes: (before i have to return this bk to the library =( )

"It was H I loved. As if I wanted to fall in love with my memory of her, an image in my own mind! It would be sort of incest."

He came to the realisation that we can't fall in love with purely our imaginings or the other person. But to embrace her as who she was, and not some day dream of what he wanted her to be. Our own memories are often coloured by our own thoughts, emotions. . and not that that is wrong. . . but lewis realised that we if we love solely based on that, is it not but only a love for ourselves? Incest..such a strong word.

" Apparently it's like that. Your bid- for God or no God, for a good God or the Cosmic Sadist, for eternal life or nonentity- will not be serious if nothing much is staked on it. And you will never discover how serious it was until the stakes are raised horribly high; until you find that you are not playing for counters or for sixpences but every penny you have in the world."

This makes me think about..
1)My never ending struggle with God
2) What I'm willing to lose,what I've set my mind on losing, and what's going to be lost whether I like it or not
3) What I'm going to win, for eternity
4) how broke I am , and how I need to find a job/ continue with old job, haha

It's in his loss that we see his love, in his struggle and questionings that we see his faith and through his smooth, lyrical writing, how a man was broken and healed.

=) God really gave him a gift. Brilliant Brilliant man.

Oh. And I've been on a secret mission. hahaha.
I'm a uber cool secret agent!
Be afraid...be VERY afraid..

critics and votes

2007-12-02T03:09:00.000-08:00

Just returned from youth camp with food poisonind(mild).

Video on it is on youtube, kudo's to fred!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS7AXMK32ys&feature=user

Actually set our to blog today specially for ms tung zhi wei (you owe me a meal)

My dear wonderful brilliant designer of a friend, needs your votes on some cloth printed thing.

She is reminded that she called me "a poor friend, who needs to pay more attention to her friends"(refer to previous comment), but in my grace is given a chance to make good things by b&J's.

HAHA! i was just gone for 3 days ok! oh well, i cant help my missability. =)

oh, i will post the link to vote late in this post...

Anyway, along with that just finished watching some movies, so if you're really bored during the hols, here is one to check out

Before Sunset

This show is really unique, I've never seen anything like it.
There is no action, hardly any plot at all, just faint recollections of a past plot.

It is one and a half hours of conversation between a french girl and an American Author, while walking and riding through Parisian Streets.

She's witty, maybe a little too intense and neurotic at times. He's an equally brilliant conversationalist. There are moments of awkward silence, but its all very sweet, very real.

Moments of outrageous flirtation. of chilhood fantasies. of political views. even of ecological views.

But then again, I think most people would find this show boring.

I like it because its so real, half the show is their conversation, and the other half is their body language, very electrifying.

What the show really does is play on one's secret desire to walk through European Streets, our fantasies of stepping through cobbled paths and creeping vines, past red-bricked houses. In relative silence......................with Ethan Hawke.

nahhh...haha, his flowery shirt ruined it

Really, msn and sms's are ruining good conversations. haha. I may be the ultimate anti-techie, but its all for a good cause, of course once in a while it allright. You want to talk? lets go out, dont make me press buttons.

Guys need to pick up his charm.

No wonder Singaporean men are reduced to china mail order brides.

OK VOTE FOR ZW!http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?picid=183369_94341949&pid=207632&scid=173&

My first Job

2007-11-21T04:09:00.000-08:00

Yes. Me. I have finally found a job.

DAY ONE

The wonderful, kind, caring, sweet, gentle and patient pre-school teacher in me was up and ready to go!

So there I was, at the record time of 8 30 AM, put in charge of a bunch of toddlers.
Wow, what cute little people, thought I.
WRONG.

We're not meant to take care of toddlers in large groups. Honestly, God is so so wise, thats why people dont have 20 kids every time they give birth.

OK. they're still extremely cute.

Never in my life had I washed my hands so many times, its like everytime we start a new game its necessary to wash your hands. AND in the end, they still are snotty as ever.

They cant talk properly, and the only conversations I had during the day went something like that:

"hey hey, you, Le le, where are you going, cannot! come, eat your porridge"..restraining him from running away
"mmm..ah hmmm niisee see"
"huh? okok, good boy, go back ok?"
pulling him to keep him from running off
"hmm ah ni see see mhh"
Then this wonderful boy in nursery decided to come be my interpreter.
"he says he needs to go toilet"
"oh."

at the end of the day, i was so tired and smelt so much of baby powder that i wondered if I should have went to Loreal instead.

DAY 2

Some excerpts:

Reading the "THE NOSE BOOK"
"when i point to my nose everybody must say...?"
"thank you! "
"er...no Hong yi, good try, but lets say NOSE"

"Oh my goodness!! why you pour milk into your porridge?"

"Teacher carrot"
"Teacher cara"
"Teacher new"
"Jie Jie"
"Teacher"
"Teacher watata"--no idea either

But all in all they are seriously so adorable. They hit each other, but they hug and say sorry in the cutest way imaginable later. They make you so pissed, but will do anything to make you smile again. They spill stuff on the floor, but when you go "wow! WONDERFUL JOB" when they clear it up, everyone rushes to clean the floor. Patting the and watching them fall asleep after about 15 mins of patting (about 7oo pats) makes you feel like the A levels are nothing.

and they love my braces.

very rewarding ....but still i might not stay..let see how this goes

my mum is surprisingly encouraging though, she thought i Was too spoilt to survive a job.
When i was walking out the door, "jia you , jia you till the end ok?! "
omg.
I burst out laughing.

oh...and she offered to make a "financial contribution"
"hey Loy(my dad), we must encourage her, ok, we'll add one dollar for every hour"
"wow mum. How very attractive"
...my dad just gave the the "what in the world?" look and quietly ate his fruit.

I AM SO TIRED

Andrew's leaving for Chiangmai..

2007-11-14T08:58:00.000-08:00

"strawberry pink and soon to be kiwi brown" ------my msn personal msg

I am sunburnt. Afters months of making concious decisions to stay out of the sun in the hope of turning snow-white fair, I ruined it within a few hours at sentosa.

Great.

From snow white to pocahontas.

Technically I was never snow white, more like Mulan..
ok, never mind.

"Stardust" is great By the way. . . not the typical bimbo movie that wei wei pulls us to watch. Not that I mind those brainless shows. . . . heh =)
It's like getting a brain massage.

AND I bought another fan from Chinatown.
YAY.
I love the oriental chinese beauties,
graceful, classy.....

P.S ZW: They still look gorgeously elegant with flat noses

Andrew is leaving in about three hours. I have nothing to give him for his send-off.

oh. the new fan......hmmmmm

Oh well, shall write him something later. Cause im a wonderful brilliant sister =)))
Hahaha! A few days ago I gave him a guitar ok!!

Well.....even though the truth was that it was picked up at the void deck and scratched in many places, and...

i told him that I spent all my pocket money on a second hand guitar and tuned it for him-which i did in fact)....

He ignored me and continued playing DOTA.
well....until i forced him to say thank you anyway

oh well.
Thats 8 nights of no one to watch "the haunting" or some other late night movie with.
No one to share "pao mian" and help me wash the dishes(cause i cook, so fair fair)
No butts to kick.
No one to play argue with
No one to take ruth the fraidy cat to the toilet in the night. =( now that will be my job

YAY. Now he cant intercept my channel surfing. watching Oprah is not a crime.

WILL MISS YOU BUB!
you better buy something back for me.

Funny converation with TUNG

2007-11-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

TUNG (not supposed to call her that according to her last comment on this blog) so dont call her that.

hey TUNG, this goes out to you!

Carol says:
no...i am THE CHOSEN ONE

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
what if i dream of aliens from mars

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
hahaha right in this world of male domination you can't be the chosen one

Carol says:
To dream of extra terrestrial creatures implies extreme stupidity and a disfunctioning of the left nerve in the brain. highly recommended to see a psychotherapist as soon as possible

Carol says:
oh nooo

Carol says:
zwwww

Carol says:
i still love you no matter what that website says okk?!

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
EH!!!!

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
i hate that website!

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
its a childhood dream that comes occasionally

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
esp. after the movie screens on tv

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
you know mars attack the movie

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
i think im severely traumatized

Carol says:
aww...you cant blame the website for the way you are! you just have to learn to accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can ...ahahaahaha

Carol says:
I'll accompany you to the psychiatrist one day

Carol says:
you have my full emotional support!!!

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
i hate youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
you'd have nightmares of aliens too if you'd watch them fry people to nothingness at a tender age of 4

Carol says:
yes. its so real and frightening

ugly cats and retarded rabbits ; says:
you bad bad friend ):

AHAHAHAHAHAA....that dream interpretation was totally nonsense!!
Mel, if you're reading this, your aeroplane dream(which started this conver) interpretation was really from the webbie k? =))

awww.Zw, you know you love me =)), see you on thurs!

RANDOM

2007-11-03T00:11:00.000-07:00

Here I am on a saturday afternoon, with unfiled files around me, the guitar i was messing with on the bed and four half-written notes; all to different people(a long time since ive done that), listening to the carpenters.

"every shalalala every whoa ho whao ho still shinessss ..."

Makes me wonder what was the happiest time in my life.

You know... like those sappy movies where the blond botoxed girl goes "oh my! This is the happiest day of my life, i love you!" and stares at her 6 carat diamond ring adoringly, oh yarh, then she kisses the guy, CUE-----fades off into the sunset.

Or when the Ah Lian messeges her boyfriend "WhEy, miSS You WoRxX, lIfE iS DaMn sIaNzZ wItHouT yOU lehZZ....mUaCKs, LUrBs EuU"

I dont think that I have an exact moment in time where i felt that it was the happiest. I feel satisfied most of the time i think, of course i feel like crap sometimes, but ice cream or a good movie usually solves it....

haha, why am i thinking of this? i dont know, shall go for a swim later, or go jogging . YES I WILL.

"oh yeahh... please mr.postman"
LOVE THE CARPENTERS

just an outpour

2007-10-24T03:30:00.000-07:00

I've typed entries and deleted, typed and deleted, typed and deleted that I dont know what Im doing.

It really takes concious effort to choose not to complain about life =( .

Sometimes I find myself thinking upon secondary school days much too often..

stink bombs, big huge sweaty Alfie trying to hug me while i try to run away, kenneth and his mr.bean antics, Min and our chemistry lessons (we had to react chemicals on my shirt so it would turn white again), hui sian--always makes me smile, eugene being as slappable as ever, mel and her stupid "wake up stick"--rawr, would never let me slp in Mr.Chong's( "eh, you laying eggs ar?") lesson, j lo and his guitar, kah wee and his pole dances, sarah and her shorty self, and tung, as silly as ever.

Screaming in the faces(literally) of the opposing netball team class, getting a serious scolding and having Andy burp loudly in the middle, counting down when lessons are about to end, banging our books at the same time to scare ms.haq(to no avail), putting extinguishers in pigeon holes, putting dustbins in front of doors, knocking and running away, tripping everyone, laughing and wasting our lives away, and having fun doing so.

Time in class was always a circus.

yes, we had to straighten many dented fans and liquid paper many broken ceiling tiles.

It was a madhouse.

There are so many people that i miss, hopefully will see them soon this halloween party. =) and have another sleepover soon, this time with better movies.

But we all should try to move on, i dont think many, or even any of us have left the past behind, i can hear Eugene saying "try to move on for what...blah blah blah" , yarh, thats the problem , you cant even if you try.

thanksgiving 06' at sarah's

tung,me,andy,jlo, simin,sarah and kenneth(i think eugene is taking the pic)

It was more than just turkey and wine. =)

oh well, life has mellowed down alot, I've become much quieter, more reflective ...

Sarah just called, that girl cant find her way around Singapore, hope she finds the costume shop soon. Need to go to her place and swim , use the furo bath, play billiards and just talk nonsense again.

Oh well, off to do PW i go.ew

In the mind of a psychopath

2007-09-07T06:34:00.000-07:00

Mastin re-adjusted his spy glass for the third time, brushing off the non-existent dust particles that lay on its heavy copper wrapping. Pressing the scabbed knuckles of his right hand in between his yellow teeth, he relinquished the familiar coppery taste as old wounds were reopened and freshness oozed out. He intensified the grip of his jaw as he waited for her...

"whatcha lookin at , eh boy?"
Ernie spat a green glob of phlegm, and rammed his fist into his face before he could give him an answer. He couldn't blame Ernie, Deline was a fine woman, yes she was. Not the face, no definitely not the buck toothed, crooked nose, sadly misalligned face. She had more than that. It was her scars. Long obtrusive lines of rubbery skin, taut and pale, running across her legs, back and arms. When she moved, it caught the light and rippled like the gleaming underbelly of a serpent. The beautiful result of her deranged father. Yes, he was not quite sound, if he were, he'd know that whipping was no way to love a girl.

Mastin smiled and caught sight of his bronzed reflection in the polished copper. He quicly averted his gaze.

"you bloody f***, best keep of the lawn boy, ugly like you is for the devil's eyes!"
"yeh ma, be coming in now"

Didnt matter what anyone said anymore. He could make Delines that he could watch now, it was so much easier. Just once, once every full moon, one girl each time. Blood had a shiny black sheen in the moonlight. He was careful, yes he was, they would never get him. . .

Ok. I'm not crazy, just thought of writing something new for a change.Didnt really enjoy writing it though....

unclogging the brainblock

2007-09-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

Havent been here for awhile, decided to revisit because I needed a space for words that do not fall under my name, class and essay question.

My disparate thoughts need to be harvested, collated, organised. Sometimes I think that I suffer from attention deficiency, even from my own thoughts, leading to half drawn ideas, conclusions. Another implication being that I do not have enough will to explore an idea fully or grasp any concept in its fullness. Examples would include giving up the piano, violin, spanish.... I dont even bother reading math questions if they are too long.

and I live in the fear that I elude myself from the joy of conquering, defeating and accomplishing. I live in the fear that I am only "possibility girl", great start, non-existent finish. I live in the fear that I will never fully establish and ground my principles, my morals and my stand. I live in the fear that there is so much more of me that I will never get to know. I live in the fear that there is so much more in the lives of others that I miss out on because I leave before they can share.

I flit through half a life and deprive myself.

Dont advise me. Few do it for pedagogical reasons.

I hope to find in myself, in God, the will that I have yet to know.
in the words of switchfoot "hope to lose myself for good, hope to find it in the end, in you"

Yes God, in you.

disengagement

2007-08-12T06:05:00.000-07:00

The hermit.
settled for fruits and berries
sprouted hair dishevelled
knew, but did not.

The nun.
bunned sensuality
under robes
did not, but knew.

I.
not alone
did not choose to know

A screenplay

2007-07-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

There's really so much to talk about, i.e "the stuff of the hols", but shall leave that for later, procrastinator.

Now that the common tests have ended I can finally breathe a sigh or relief, then take in another deep breath for the JCDC'S.

The tests really have a way of getting me acquainted with helplessness, bought myself a tub of walls "chocolate heaven" and a spray of purple orchids to tide me over the week =)

. . .but i still didnt feel very much better (although the orchids were in my favourite shades of purple) , neither could i concentrate much. . God didnt seem to be answering my prayer for focus. ..(Maybe i wasnt focusing enough on the prayer) I think it all boils down to a lack of drive, and humility. Maybe God is telling me its allright (and now necessary) to ask for help.

(got an offer frm victoria for help in math during the exam week, now its time to take it up)

Well, in the wandering state of mind (which will soon come to focus) I managed to write a screenplay =) which was just self-amusement during the mugging hours , a really short one...

Description: Brainless dialogue, characteristic of trashy American soap operas aired on afternoons for the old spinster with 99 cats. Helpful if you took math, lit and econs in SAJC, then you'll know the context. But its ok if you dont. Its just a nonsensical piece written out of common test frustrations.

Warning: any depictions that bear any resemblence to situations in real life are purely coincidental
Names are all fictitious

TITLE: A COMMON TASTE

Annabella: Oh my, do you see him staring? I should have murdered the darn ol' aneroxic me a long time ago. Do you see the returns of economies of scale? Its just amazing..oh yeah, my lovely lady lumps..

Roxanne : Honey, that is just a assumption on your part, parallax errors never seem to elude you, do they?

Annabella: *grits her teeth and gives a tight smile back* My dear, is that the sour stench of grapes i smell? Now, now, dont let the little green monster out just because YOU are experiencing diseconomies of scale, im sure those pounds can be lost, over well...in the long run.

Roxanne : DISECONOMIES OF SCALE?! how dare you!! Regardless, you know that you can never attain a monopoly of his heart. Let me warn you, this is a free market, it runs on the interactions of supply and demand forces, and im not very sure about the elasticity of your supply..

Annabella : Well then, I am to assume that we can never establish a conjecture except through induction can we?

Roxanne : That can only be under the pre-supposition that he is not already mine. But i will patronise you and go along with your dare, because thats what people with a great deal of compassion do.

Annabella: (rolls her eyes at roxanne in a *mean girls(linsay lohann) style and SAUCILY walks over to Don Juan ----objective: utility maximiser)

Annabella: (puts her hand on his shoulder and bats eyelashes till the fake one on the right side drops out, flips hair, flip flip flip) Wow, now someone has been working out yarh?!! Don juan, you are like a force...THE force, the force that drives the green fuse drives the flower!

(I have no idea what that means either, but leonard concluded that the poet was just trying to confuse us)

Don Juan : ( has no idea what that means, but thinks that he should restructure his priorities by intiating change and attempting to date a "brainy" chick ....aka. one that he does not understand) Yeah.. wow, that is so deep and...er....sensitive , i really feel the depth in emotion

Annabella: (has no idea what she just said, but was sure her voice was husky enough) It's like,wow, i never knew a guy that was so in touch with his inner soul and is able to establish a bond with me on such a deep level

Roxanne: Thats so fake! I bet its something you got out of "poetry for dummies"!

ok. will stop here, there is actually a summation to this series that will reach a finite limit, but im too tired to type, and i think everything is so much more nonsensical from here.

This is what happens when my mind wanders..

Weird things

2007-06-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

"According to the rules of the theme:People who are tagged should write a blog post of 7 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'You are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog." --------and fred brilliantly tagged me

well the thing is...

I'm perfect...i dont have any weirdities... If there is any opposition towards this statement i must say you need a immediate diagnosis for your perception problem.
1) I think im perfect

2) I think the ppl who dont think so need a mental checkup

thats all folks, enough said...now get out of my elite face

3) Ipretend to be someone im not ,voice opinions i dont hold, just to watch and analyse reactions.(CANT do that here can i?)

4) I like eating fats ..(i can hear all the aneroxics screaming)ahhhhh!!!( chicken skin, cant stand dry lean meat) ...

*Jade, stop trying to get me to eat healthy, it doesnt work, plus i eat like this and im still trying not to fall into boderline underweight, imagine if i didnt! haha!

5) I make weird friends who make me wear shrek ears in public, take pictures in the middle of the road at night, pretend to be tourists insingapore, hitchhike from doubygaut to bugis, play pranks on the last day of school which includes taking the fireextinguisher and dustbins(ok say no more)...etc etc...the list is endless...love you all!

6) I like reading childrens books=) ROALD DAHL, JUDY BLUME, CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS,ENID BLYTON, JUNIE B.JONES

I just wait for Ruth(little sister) to come home and pretend; "oh gosh, im SO bored! Ruth do you have ANY ,ANY books at all?" ....

I might want to write kiddo books in the future =)

7) On the other hand there are the books on philosophy too....., confucious, socrates,plato, aristotle, descartes, kant, pyrrho....

ok, because the first two dont count and its best that somethings are kept privy, gonna share with you TWO general weird things that people in general are guilty of...

1) Women enjoy looking at women, not men. Not that looking at men is not enjoyble, its just not AS enjoyable. I mean, look at women magazines! ladies ladies ladies, and the guys magazines? ladies again, Its all about aesthetics, and i guess we're the better looking species

2)If you duck in the middle of the street, everyone else ducks too.... then they look up to the sky, and shortly after, look weirdly at you. One of our social experiments..eh weird friends out there??

thats all, so many things to write about, but shall do the Fred's tag first and tell of the rest later, ciao folks!

oh wait 7 ppl!
1)Sarah
2)Liu si min
3)Chua si min
4)Mattheus
5)Eugene (ALL EUGENES) goh, chua, chong,ng.....whatever
6)Eleanor
7)Mel (you have a blog right?)

But no stress , dont need to write if you dont wanna =)
6)

Packing!

2007-06-11T09:05:00.001-07:00

I hate packing

long lists, clothes strewn all over the bed, floor, spilling out of my closet...and I can find everything except for the pieces I want. I've been at it for about two hours now. Not that I've been packing for all that two hours though....i tend to get erm....distracted.

ewww. Now i have clear up. =( I feel like cinderalla...without the prince, the pumkin and pretty shoes.

Oh yarh, the distractions... discovered some stuff while clearing, ended up playing with them, and the camera, i wasted SO MUCH TIME!

I'M A NINJA!

I AM PHANTOM!

And thus time flew with dress up and narcissistic shots. The rest was spent dancing to "candyman" by christina aguilera, singing to corrine may and carrie underwood, jumping to fallout boys and theclickfive.

Shrek ears are zw and winnie's fault. Forced me to buy them and walk ard in public for two hours and now, its the only hairband i can find.

Leaving in SEVEN HOURS!

oh yarh.....need to continue the packing...

A very unglam spectacled me says BYE!!!!!!

P.s: does any one have beauty and the beast??

cinderally cinderally...pack your clothes, wash the dishes
and tomorrow, feed the fishes
Check your list, do it twice,
clean your room,keep out the mice
clear your brushes, keep your shoes
put together things that come in twoes
like your laces and your socks
oh carol,pls keep them in the box
and I wonder where he is
the prince that saves me from all this
Probably got lost in the woods
fell off his horse? cant find his boots?
or maybe its until i learn to be a wife
to cook, to clean, to supervise
then someday my prince will surely come
and we can hire a maid for a sum

Have i told you I hate packing?
well, I hate packing=(

Passing the time

2007-06-07T15:34:00.000-07:00

Can I say it enough for me to put across how I feel inside?
Can the words that pass my lips transcend the emotions that stir within?
Yes, I believe that all of us have this deep sense of joy in us that is inspired by only one.

I'm going to let out my secret now....

I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS! =)

Love love love love love it!

And I love the darling friends that i share them with....(some of them (3) are sleeping on the bed behind me now) and one more is playing with her phone as i type about them.

WINNIE is a prying peep ...STOP LOOKING OVER!

I think i must have accidently dosed some caffeine, because i dont feel a least bit tired, and that is after staying awake for the whole night. In fact i feel super awake and hyped up =) but everyone has just gone to bed, just as the sun came out of his. Must have consumed some caffeine by accident(aloe vera peach tea? chocolate?Roti prata?) haha, no idea....

AHHHHHH!!!!ALOE VERA PEACH TEA!!!! no wonder!!! And i was so adament about not drinking TEH BING cause i wont be able to sleep then =(

Will update on what we did later on, when i have the pics.....

Should be continuing the movie marathon and the cake baking in a few hours, hope there is still fuel in the caffeinlergic me ...

Will be leaving on the road trip to malaysia with my family soon. While I still very much enjoy their company, I must admit that I wish the trip wasnt that long, either that, or the holidays were stretched. There just is not enough time for everything , studies, friends, family and God.
But God overrides the concept of time, so there =)

HOWEVER, I'm really looking forward to the long car rides. Funnily, thats what I love most about travelling............the journey. Its just gives me a chance to be by myself, to think ,to daydream, and sometimes, that's what gets me to school on lazy mornings, the knowledge that im going to get 45 minutes to myself on the bus. Its ME time.Its people watching time. Its thoughts into writing time.It's mindless sketching time. sometimes it sleepy time.And with family, I can just enjoy the comfort of their company, talk when I feel like it and take the chance to share our lives during the few hours where all five of us are forced to confinement in that vehicle.

I'm an insomaniac. Im hyper allergic to caffeine---(as you did see what less than a can of peach tea did to me) It was a problem I had since a child, I would even be flipping pillows with my legs to pass the time. In fact its because of this problem that i can be writing this now. My mom always tells me that even as a baby i have always had trouble sleeping, and the only lullably that could lull me successfully to sleep was the sound of the engine. Bundling me up, they would take long drives along the expressway just so i would stop crying. But i would just wake up once my dad stops driving.

I dont even know what it is about moving at relatively high speeds that calm me. It's as if my mental state can come to a standstill, or at least to a certain level of calm, only when the physical aspect of myself is being propelled.

Someone call Oprah to get me some psychological diagnosis

Chinatown

2007-06-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Love chinatown trinkets!

Oriental designs, intricate carvings, ancient beauties....

Decided to go there pretending to be a tourist, just makes the whole thing so much more exciting! Didnt think anyone would actually think we were not local though...but one did!!!

So i tied my hair in two pigtails *ala japanese mode* (hoping no one i knew would see me, but i counted on that,cause almost no one i know goes to chinatown) Dont remember when was the last timeI did that, probably eons ago. i mean PIGTAILS?? come on...

When we got there we realised we didnt know the japanese accent, so we started talking in the "zhong guo chiang". The only other accent jade could fake was the german one, and we look totally Aryan-----NOT. Plus my spanish tongue wont work cause i cant roll my R's.=(

We gave up the accents almost immediately anyway.

And for the first time, i visited a buddhist temple in Singapore!

The last time i stepped into a temple was during the chiangmai mission trip. And that was when I realised its really sad that i only found out about this part of my culture on foreign soil. There's so much i dont know, why are there bells? why do they turn round and round? etc etc etc.. I feel like im wrapped in a cocoon.In oblivion. know why they are lost, know the lost, then save the lost.

The thing is.....

1. they forced me to look like a nun

2. IT was a long long long way up = long long long way down too
AND....we took the wrong staircase down!
The door was locked when we reached the first floor.
I thought i was just going to die. haha, and the tons of clothe swathed around me didnt help either. It kept slipping off! And Jade really helped by reminding me how the monk could just pop out and then be stripped off his monkness cause he'll catch sight of our bare shoulders. hah!

I think the heat bound in the stairwell was driving us nuts.
We ended up standing at the window pretending to be nuns locked up in the tower, crying out to the passer by's on the street to save us.

no one cared.

meanies.

We finally made it out though.

so we walked some more....
we stopped at this wedding boutique and was looking at the pics, when this weird weird conversation happened. I think our brains were fried by then.

lAdy boss : "hi, want to have a look inside?"
J: no , we're not getting married
L.b :oh, also can do makeover for you..
J : you mean we NEED a makeover?
L.b : No, its just like pictures kp as memories, you are tourists?
J : yarhh
L.b :oh.. how long here already?

AT THE SAME TIME :
j : A few days
Me: months, we're studying here

went on to exp how we were "leaving soon" blah blah

L.b : oh , so want to take picture?
me : hmm, maybe, but we want to take with this boy here *points to malemodel in the picture book
L.b : oh , no, no, come in come in, i introduce better one to you

AND WE RUN OFF IN FITS OF LAUGHTER...

You have ANYTHING??

2007-05-31T06:43:00.000-07:00

At the Indian restaurant

"Uncle, you have ANYTHING?"

"yaaa...we got roti prata."

sing your last song

2007-05-30T22:21:00.000-07:00

I traced along the breadth of his shoulders, taking in the the contours, the dips and rises, where smooth muscle descended into the hollow that rested at the gate of his neck. He took my hands and and held it to his heart. No words were required.

We were of two different worlds, we are of two different worlds, we will forever be in two different worlds. Love is such a fallible bridge.

He's due to fly off in two hours..
leaving the long walks along the beach
leaving the mini-golf sessions
leaving the roses in the the rain
leaving the rooftop conversations
leaving pillowfights'
leaving the suprises we keep hidden
leaving snuggly movie marathons
leaving your guitar and my song
leaving me

I remember the first time we met.

I thought you were just the regular casanova.
sweet words and nothing more.
You thought i was playing hard to get,
I thought I was impossible for you to get.
I wanted stability,
you exuded too much charm.
I wanted intelligence,
you didnt seem to think i could appreciate that.

Obviously, your male pride didnt allow you to give up halfway did it?
.
.
.
.
.

well it should have.

An empty canvas, brushes and paints took the place of chocolates.
"Confessions of Saint Augustine" took the place of roses
Various sketches transcended the usual sappy poem.

Now you press your lips against my head, and i bury myself in your warmth.
You were a mistake I made,
and now i will have to pay the price.
The song you wrote for me is stuck in my head.
sing to me, over and over again.

Gosh. I'm such a helpless romantic. BTW the above is completely fictional ok.

Its a product of watching how to "lose a guy in 10 days" and having alot of time on my hands. i.e ( THE HOLIDAYS!) Plus the rain tends to put me in a dreamy mode.

I will run to you

2007-05-30T01:35:00.000-07:00

Your eye is on the sparrow,

and your hand it comforts me

From the ends of the earth

To the depths of my heart

May your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to your purpose

as angels understand

For your glory

May you draw all men

As your love and grace demands

This song is really special, I hope i hold true to it

I will run to you,
to your words of truth,
Not by might,
not by power,
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race,
till I see your face
Oh, let me live in the glory of your grace

Yes, Grace, I need it
Through it all, I know you are there

Let there be no one else but him that gives you all honour and glory and praise.

Got a common face?

2007-05-24T05:35:00.000-07:00

When i first came into SA, everyone had a friend/neighbour/enemy that looked like me, farah, geraldine, hillary, wei chiang....jon even met a nurse that looked like me!

So they showed me their friendster pics etc etc..

Was kinda sad, since there's only 7 ppl in the world who looks like you and i think i depleted more than all of them already.

But have you heard of Suzzane Jung? Primetime morning on channelnewsasia ring a bell?

I think i was first told i looked like her in sec 2. then more and more ppl came telling. mostly my friend's parents, since my friends obviously dont watch the newS. And then there was the church people, the aunties and uncles. Now uncle wen yen doesn't even bother calling me by my real name, just suzzane. Some have asked if she was my sister, ans, No.

actually its kinda cool, looking at pics of ppl that look like you =)

*(all her picture's on the net are so fuzzy =( ...)

would have shown you the rest of the ppl that look like me, but it always happens to be a third degree friend, so... i cant...sorry!

Hide and seek

2007-05-19T03:20:00.000-07:00

I NEED:
>a GOOD book
>Hot Chocolate
>Tim Tam chocolate biscuits
>Someone to DHL the above to me

The Serpent's Fruit

2007-05-17T05:31:00.000-07:00

The Serpent's Fruit

To quench the thirst of desire
thought thoughts bitter and hard
had he above no place else
of all places, placed below

Beauty, elegence to entice
Wisdom and intellect it did suffice
longing slowly tore her up
her soul to bear that which would have come

How come what I want is something i know i cannot have?

Memories

2007-05-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

Have been meaning to write about this for a long long time. Guess i was too lazy and stuff just piled up. But i know i MUST write it in the end. If not my thoughts will just clog up in my brain and swish round and round. Also I guess i want to preserve these thoughts somewhere, in case they swish out and away.

INSPIRATION: "Invisible monsters" AKA Jo-lynn's fav book

The book made me feel like puking anyway, if you really want to know, i think it just overthrew my whole system of belief. It always sucks to know the world isn't made of rainbows and butterflies.

On second thought, maybe it is, after all, they stem from rain and worms.

Memories are ours to manipulate.

In reality, things may not have gone the way we remembered.

Maybe thats why we love the neoprint machines so much

give me youth

FLASH

give me beauty

FLASH

give me friendship and camaderie

FLASH

Maybe thats why people are willing to spend so much on wedding shots

Give me love

FLASH

Give me desire

FLASH

Give me faithfullness

FLASH

Maybe.

Maybe thats why people enjoy taking pictures rather then immersing themselves in the moment itself. So they can immerse in their own manipulated memories later on.

All that shows is a smile. Write your own story behind it.

I know mine will be a bestseller.=)

2007-05-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

My head feels like a rock and i think i have officially cleaned off two big boxes of tissues within the last 24 hours. I woke up wondering which idiot stuffed cotton wool down my throat and it still seems to be stuck there.

Its probably the weather,
Hot sun + Heavey Rain = Flu bug
Flu Bug= Blotchy skin, sniffles, ithchy eyes, sandy throat, throbbing head= a very irritable me

The thing is, i HAVE to get better in approximately 24 hours, cause thats when i'll be watching phantom.

Grr. Its probably the outdoor lit lesson that caused this. Nice cool potong pasir breeze blowing onto my back for 1 hour without ceasing.So much for romance.

On another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH!!

i such a horrible sister, I know

but what YOU know is i still love you right?! =)))

I know you do.

i cant believe i forgot your birthday =(

*and all the time i was stressing for mother's day

I really need to spend more time with my family

My preliminary idea

2007-05-02T06:24:00.000-07:00

Why in the world am i wasting my time,
when in the end i get not a dime.
"five points!"they say "it all adds up"
but I'd rather have money thrown in a cup
Why does it matter anyway?Since
PW didnt exactly make saint andrew's day
less than 1% holding them A's
An understatement!like mIchael jackson is gay
6 to be exact, i wonder why
the rest were left to cry and sigh
Lets speculate shall we, lets play this game
hmm, maybe its cause we're in opposition domain
so the ppl in white dont like us much
and our results result in such.
Which is really ironic, as i have found
that PW grew on SA's grounds
The proposal drawn out by a teacher here
was accepted into a subject we hold so dear.

I NEED TO COMPLETE MY PI NOW AND IT IS GOING TO BE SPLENDID.
I NEED TO COMPLETE MY PI NOW AND IT IS GOING TO BE SPLENDID.
I NEED TO COMPLETE MY PI NOW AND IT IS GOING TO BE SPLENDID.
I NEED TO COMPLETE MY PI NOW AND IT IS GOING TO BE SPLENDID.

OH. Let this be a self fufulling prophecy...

anything said here really needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. I always try to be politically correct.

Quotes of Wisdom

2007-05-01T05:12:00.000-07:00

OK peeps, i've chnged the settings such that anyone can comment now=)

My mother's brother aka uncle just got married today, and that means all the realtions on the maternal side get together. I have certainly learnt alot from my elders, and now i share with you their words of wisdom.

QUOTE #1

Setting: bridegroom is supposed to slip the ring on the left hand, but takes the right hand instead

" Proves that this is the first time arh!",

says he to his bride .

QUOTE #2

Setting: Tea ceremony, where bride and bridegroom serve tea to elders in exchange for an ang pow.

uNCLE xxxx: "Er, you take credit card not?"

QUOTE #3

Setting: lunch

" eh..come come, you should get to know your cousins! So you wont accidently fall in love with them! come boys, tell your names!"

Love,Food and Babies

2007-04-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

The school play was well, average, not bad, but average.If it were instant noodles, it would be "chicken maggi" . Nope, not "kimchi ramen" with an egg or Plain noodles, somewhere in btween, Just average.

The fun part was getting there.

I was late, SORRY JADE!
so we were planning to cab frm Douby Gaut.
I looked to my left and there was a SEA of blue (i.e comfort cabs)
tilted my head up a tad and there were the bright red spots "HIRED"

SO WE WALKED.

AND WALKED.

AND WALKED SOME MORE.

all the time with our left hands stretched out TO NO AVAIL.

WE were desperate!! * esp me in 2 inch heels
we were screaming in the middle of bugis.

so we took out a piece of paper and wrote the words NAFA in big block letters.
NONE STOPPED

it was kinda saddening.Singaporeans just have trouble understanding the concept of hitchiking.

And all time we were watching out for those kaypoh ppl who would take a pic and post us on STOMP.(you better not!)

ok, it was kinda a stupid thing to do right?

I HAVE TO GO TO MALAYSIA NOW.
My uncles's getting married=)
so random.
I need a short holiday anyways

okok, wait... kudos to leonard for being really really nice and gentlemanly! =))
that was my first cup of coffee at TCC in MONTHS!

OFF I GO!!!!

The Girl i found in a book

2007-04-26T05:27:00.000-07:00

Today was Horrid. =(
shall not go into detail.
Cisco should just train their guards to be well--smilier

was at the lib today,and this is what i saw.
was browsing through, and something really pink and shiny caught my eye.

"HOW TO BE POPULAR"

hmm. interesting. more so than the world of profit maximisation anyway.

So, i picked it up and flipped it open.A note was slipped between the pages.

It said "please Marry me carol!" signed, George Clooney

HAHAHA.NOT!

ok. IT was actually a note prob frm a little teenage bopper type of girl for the next reader, written on a slip of paper torn from a cheap off the pasar malam fake hello kitty notepaper.

It went something like this..

Hello. life sucks. I wish i could go to america and study there. Over here im just a quiet girl who nobody bothers to talk to. Other ppl can go other ppl's house, but i dont. I dont talk to anyone. I have read alot of books and watch alot of tv about america.I want to go there and study.

This is taken from a section where there are books like sweet valley twins and such. And the words are not exact, but something along that line.

What an example of western imperialisation. she prob read some sappy, lousy, out of date book and is dreaming of falling in love with some peroxide blond beach bum. Honey, what makes you think that you can assimilate into the culture there and be the next lucy liu ? Esp when you're reading books like "how to be popular" here. Not that it is wrong to have dreams. But it can be wrong to have wrong dreams.

living in this disillusion. you can Hope, you can make it happen. And wake up one day in that place you dreamed of, now, as a english major in a university, writing viotile plays and planning to go pumping bullets into the peroxide blondies because obviously you have not become very popular there either. (No reference to Virginia Tech whatsoever)

Make the best of life as it is.

The Broken arm and m0re

2007-04-25T04:35:00.000-07:00

I'm really supposed to be doing Alexander the Great for my PI now. But while there is wine, the meat is absent; haha, or at least from Mr.Gp teacher that means the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Not that i find alexander boring or anything, in fact, i feel the exact opp of that towards him. IN FACT, I'm actually so amazed, intrigued and impressed with him that i actually think that the fact that he had so many wives is justified.Not one woman could contain him. He was plato,aristotle and socrates.He was hercules. HE IS DEAD.=( Not that i advocate polygamy. ABSOLUTELY NOT! I'm just saying that what he lived was a beautiful life, a life of passion, of depth, fuelled by intelligence and courage. How many women can match up to that standard? He probably did not care much for them in the first place. i know if someone like that truely existed, i wouldn't mind just playing the supporting role. TOO BAD, cause as much as i like to live in this fantasy, what i read of him was prob over-rated and romanticized.

I AM SO REALISTIC.=(
+( some say he's gay)

Anyways, what im supposed to write about is Andrew's arm.
can't believe he broke it soccering. HAHAHA
i got the priviledge of being the first at his cast, since im the wonderfullestest sister in the world=)

These were my drafts:

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
Your head wasnt working,
Now your arm too!

Lesson learnt:
i should always listen to my sister
or things like these happen

klutziness is not genetic, im just born with it

HAHAHAHAHAH.ok , i was feeling lame
okok, HOPE YOU'RE BETTER ANDREW!

Sch today was well, weird
just an excerpt..
MATH CLASS

Ja: ahhh!there's a lizard !!
me *looks under the table where she points,
sees a banana peel*

Mr.LXX: Carolyn, pls throw that lollipop
me : if i throw the banana can i eat the lollipop?
Mr.Lxx *mumbles something along the line of yes*
me :wow, im so nice, now you must give me five points for class attitude*smile brighttly*
J-L :*tries to suck up too* DO YOU WANT CORNFLAKES MR.LXX?

halfway through..
Mr.LXX : No, im not paying you to type out solutions for me
jos : why? i thought teachers very rich?
and other random questions frm the class:
do you have a wife?
why? she very high mantainence ar?
Do you have children?
oh, when are you planning to get some children?
can we watch a movie now?

oh and during lit, four peeps climbed out of the window onto the panel on the third floor and walked over to the nxt classrm.

I NEED TO DO MY PI.

HAHAHAHA

2007-04-24T05:25:00.000-07:00

A Good Way to study Economics

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say:"I am very rich. Marry me!"That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you, say:"He's very rich. Marry him."That's Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number.The next day, you call and say:"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her,pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl.She walks up to you and say:"You are very rich! Can you marry me?"That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say:"I am very rich. Marry me!"And she introduces you to her husband.That's demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tell her:"I'm rich. Will you marry me?"and she goes off with him.That's competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:"I am very rich. Marry me!".Another guy with flowers said:"I am richer. Marry me!"That's absolute advantage

10. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say,"I'm very rich. Marry me!"Her equally gorgeous friend tags along for the rest of the night.That's economies of scale

Taken from PAE class blog. 07A08!

FOREVER

2007-04-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

hAHA.. so my public web life did not fall through in the end, damn.

somehow, thats just like me, to start on something and give up halfway. Ballet, piano, violin etc etc...

NOT PROUD OF IT.

I'll just turn out to be the jack of all trades and master on none.

THIS WILL NOT BE A SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY.

Anyways, decided to revisit this desolate place again because im late for school and chinese only ends in half an hour. so i have time to kill, HURRAY.

shall talk about everything and nothing.

my legs hurt from shopping in kitten heels.
which is all zw's fault since she left SA, and therefore creating a need for retail therapy.

I'm really glad my momsie understands why I have to be late for school. Now let me tell the world, so they too will know. Im caffeinelergic!! Actually, not realy, but im hypersensitive to it. Therefore, when there is a chilled,frosty can of green tea,or coke it would lead to NO SLEEP. Furthurmore, i really dont see the need for turning up at 725 when school only starts at 10 or 11. =)

For lit right now, we're doing cleopatra, and there has been ALOT of debate over this character. So let me air my view. I think that woman is the personification of passion. Narcissistic, yes, but so are we, there just arnt books written bout us to tell that world of it. She replies to her earthly passions with a boldness, which i think we all envy to a certain extent. A slut? no way. That is one intelligent girl out there. A slut would just satisfy her lust with anybody, like a begger for food. Cleopatra had kings and generals, the infusion of blue blood. Admiration, YES. Respect, NO. To personify passion would also mean great exaggeration of self.Fake, maybe.

So whether we like it or not , i guess there's a little of her in all of us.

I wish there was more in me.

And now I start!

2007-01-02T00:48:00.000-08:00

My first Public Post!!

Decided to do away with my secret web life because its 2007, i feel like it, and there's really nothing you can do about it!

Wanted the first post to be on first Jan, but hey, procrastination is not a crime, and people who get things done punctually have nothing better to do..ok thats wrong.

okie dokie, another thing i wanted, to commemorate the stuff i did in 2006, but i cant !! cause there are really truly bluely too many pictures, thoughts and memories that i wont be doing justice to, so maybe I'll just post them along the way.

Lets focus on something better...the stuff of 2007!
Im just waiting to see what it has in store for me...i DARE you
you lousy 4 digit thingy of a year

oh yarh, pls stop bombing thailand, cause the ppl there are really smiley,cute and nice.and the GST thingy isnt very nice either.neither is leaving PHS.or having to travel one hour to get to school now.

2007, you need to work on the impression you're making on me!